The Essence Of Fried Chicken
by The Bud
Summary: I was bored!


Disclaimer: I am a nasty, nasty mean person and you should not be left alone with my perverted mind...  
  
and I don't own any trademarks or otherwise used hereof in this story.  
  
  
  
  
  
The Essence Of Fried Chicken   
  
  
Picture this, you are new to this strange school in a new state, and if that fact weren't enough, you can't sleep.  
  
After hearing muffled sounds of laughter and private noises from a few doors down from the den mother's room, you are reawakened  
  
to a creepy sound, one as of that of crunching bone and ravenous teeth grinding flesh. The grumbling and gnawing sounds accomapanied by   
  
grunts and slobbering slurping raises hair on the back of your neck. A low growl reaches your ears, a long slow growl, like a beast after  
  
devouring prey. To make things worse, you have to pee.  
  
  
You try to hold it it as long as you can out of fear, and as the sounds eminating through out the house grows louder and more  
  
intimidating, you wish you had the power to teleport, morph or anything. The woman you had met earlier, what was her name?  
  
Her voice is heard calling softly out to her lover, the tall one with the red glasses, the one whom at the night time moon had  
  
discovered you so many days ago with his eyes glowing as a demon. "Where is he?" you wonder.  
  
Should he not be there to protect the woman from whatever lurks in these darkened walls? Her footprints are sounding down  
  
the hall to the small kitchen on this floor and you feel like your bladder is gonna burst.   
  
  
To save the woman and risk your life or stay in bed and risk your dignity upon the morning when you  
  
bed is soaked and you have to explain to the chinese girl yourself yet again. Death verses Humiliation, which one bears  
  
stake and claim to your every instinct as to whom you are and where your loyalties lay? Mayhap, the beastly racket that  
  
plaques your sleep this night is that feral creature you met by the name of Logan and the woman, ah yes, her name now has danced into memory from the   
  
raging tip of your tongue, Jean, maybe she is in no real danger. Rationalsation, a great tool for the eternal procrastinater.  
  
  
Soon, your body wins over your sweat beaded head and the pain in your gut gives you over to death. As you rise from bed to save the woman,  
  
be a hero, or heroine that you indeed know yourself to be. The one the man with  
  
the demon stare had claimed of you, and the hallway is your destination.  
  
You reach where the woman has slowly padded her tiny feet too and strangly enough, the small kitchen is bathed in  
  
a small glow of light. Your powers are flaired adding even more of a glow as the woman's essence lends  
  
a firey tinge to the walls. There is something, someone mayhap in the fridge.  
  
And as the head of the hungry animal raises it's head, four glowing red eyes stare back at you.  
  
  
"Gambit! Scott! Get out of my fried chicken!" The Woman lectures and right then and there, your bladder gives way and  
  
you are suddenly very wet Just as the Chinese girl, Jubilee comes to join the midnight feast  
  
of the woman's admittidly so, great fried chicken. Really, it was all in the marinade.  
  
  
And now for something completly similar.  
  
  
Things You Will Never Hear the X-Men Say.   
  
Rouge  
"Remy!!! What on earth is your underwear doing in muh pie!"  
  
"Man muh jock stap itches! Do yuh think it's madea wool?"  
  
"Scott! You sexay thang you!"  
  
"I'm not really a woman."  
  
"I'm not really southern sugah. I just was drawn that way."  
  
"Viva Mexico!"  
  
  
Gambit  
" I wanted to give ita better taste!"  
  
"Tooooo Spicy! Water! Waaater!  
  
"Scott! You sexay t'ng!"  
  
"Divine is my hero!"  
  
"Pink not really my colour."  
  
"Dis not really funny Bud. Why de referances to my "allour"  
  
Cyclops  
  
"I'm really a man."  
  
"I'm a lumberjack."  
  
"I like pie." evil grin.  
  
"You like my package, don't you?"  
  
Jean  
  
"I'm not playing this! Turn that camera off Bud! Now! I said now!"  
  
hey! Stop!  
  
"I'll kill you!"  
  
Oww hey! Owww! Hey... I kinda like that! Mherrrl!  
  
"Pervert!   
"  
  
Oh yea! Yea!"  
  
"Scotttt!" 


End file.
